Walls
by dhbPATHWAY1997
Summary: One-shot; Song-fic; Walls, All Time Low. T for language. Placed after episode 26 of Anime. Kyo has been off on his own in the woods, trying to find himself. Coming home, he realizes that he'll have to break down some walls and really open himself up.


Kyo's POV

"Kyo-kun!"

It was wonderful to hear her voice again, especially when it was calling my name. I didn't think I'd ever feel this way about anyone, but there she was, running towards me… She rushed up the front path of the house and to the gate, which I was walking through presently, my near-empty backpack slung over my shoulder.

"Kyo-kun!" she called again, laughing and grinning and pumping her arms at her sides as if that would make her run faster. She reached the gate and took me into her arms. For maybe the second time, I actually didn't mind that she'd made me transform. I wanted her close, and I wanted her arms around me, no matter what form I was in. Even maybe my true form.

"Hey there," I almost purred. It was good to see her again. The mental images I called up were just not enough to do her justice. Her hair was silkier, and browner, and her eyes more beautiful than I could have ever imagined on my own. She tightened her arms around me and I was sure that if a cat could blush, then I would be.

The more that I thought about it, it had never really felt right calling…this…_just friends_. I could be fairly sure now, after the last couple of months and the few days now that I'd been away that I could truly say that I loved Tohru. I'd hated to admit it to myself, but I really could open up to her in a way that I'd never been able to open up to Master or anyone else, especially in the Sohma family or in the Zodiac. She was…special. Different. But in a wonderful, glorious way. I loved every part of her for every obvious reason: she was definitely beautiful, and though a little air-headed, this came from her innocence and made her cute. She jumped to conclusions that everything was her fault, feeling the need to take the blame for everything in the world. It was sweet that she was that willing to care for others. She could be smart when she wanted to and was wise from the benefit of her mother and even the wisdom that losing her had given Tohru. She was an excellent cook, great at encouraging people and bringing hope, and she was just…amazing. I was happy as long as she was happy with herself.

She was babbling to me about the cod onigiri she was making in the kitchen, but I was only half listening. I looked down and noticed what she was wearing: a simple red shirt with blue sleeves and buttons, two orange ribbons in her hair, and a pair of jeans… They were the jeans I'd bought for her at the convenience store when she'd spilled ice cream on her skirt. I didn't mind spending the money, but of course, she had apologized for any inconvenience the ordeal may have caused me – forget that she had just dumped strawberry ice cream all over herself, ruining her skirt.

A strange thought entered my mind as I was thinking about that memory. She'd opened up to me before about her mother and her family and the things that she was grateful for, living with us, but through it all, I realized that I wanted to know more about _her._ Not just her family, or her life the way it was. I wanted to know what _she_ wanted, what _she_ dreamed of… I chuckled once to myself as I thought about her clothing again. It seemed like an ironic joke to me suddenly that she was wearing such simple clothes. It seemed almost metaphorical: such simple clothes for such a complex person…one that I wanted to explore. _Take off your shirt, your shoes, those skinny jeans I bought for you…_ _We're diving in, there's nothing left to lose…_

I blushed much deeper when I realized in what wrong direction that could be taken… I didn't mean it like that, honest! Damn… Fumbling with words and meanings even in my thoughts! But really – I'd only meant that metaphorically, like she could do with opening herself up once in a while…hopefully to me? Maybe…maybe she'd even thought the same about me before…

That's when I decided: I'm gonna break down these walls I've built around myself. I looked up at her. _I wanna fall so in love with you and no one else could ever mean _half_ as much to me as you do now. _She seemed to glow as I looked at her. Maybe that was just because of the warm, fuzzy feelings I was starting to feel for her now… I looked down at the path we were walking along, and that seemed pretty symbolic to me too. Together, we'd move on. _Just don't turn around,_ I begged her in my thoughts. _And let the walls break down._

We did eventually get to the house, and when we did, Tohru called out, "Shigure-san! Yuki-kun!" They came out of the living room and into the kitchen, where Tohru stood with me in her arms and my backpack with my clothes now in them hung over her shoulder. "Look! Kyo-kun's back!"

"See, Tohru-san, I _did_ tell you not to worry," Shigure chastised playfully. "I knew he'd come crawling back to us."

"I didn't come _crawling_ back, you mangy dog!" I yelled at him, shaking away all those warm and fuzzy feelings I'd previously draped myself in for the time being. "I was obviously going to come back–"

"Because you have nowhere else to go," Yuki interrupted. I wanted to be furious, but I was actually quite astounded. How did he know what I was going to say…?

I decided to just growl at him instead. "Yeah. What he said."

Tohru frowned at the two of us. Whether it was because she thought we would have started fighting like usual or because she was worried that I had nowhere else to go, I could only guess. But it didn't matter, anyway. I was here now, mostly for her. Well…yeah, for her. But I did have a thought while I was just meandering through the woods… What if… Well, Yuki and I had discovered things about each other since Tohru had showed up last year. There were things the two of us envied about each other, but also admired. And there were things that we had in common. I didn't really want a…friendship, per se, I just wanted a somewhat truce. Obviously, we would probably still get on each other's nerves. Obviously, I still wanted to fight him, but I might be able to change things so that they're mostly just for fun, or for training. Someday, I would beat him, but maybe I wouldn't beat him as _the damn rat,_ and he might be just _Yuki. _Maybe he'd even congratulate me. Maybe my joining the family officially in that way would be cause for him to be happy for me… I could only think, but maybe, someday, these errant thoughts could become reality.

"Well, welcome back, Kyo-kun. Your room is just as you left it. Otherwise, we know you would have killed us. See you at dinner! I'm going to go and meet with my editor for lunch… I'll mess with her a bit before handing her the next three hundred pages, eh?" he chuckled. "Bye, Tohru-san!" he waved cheerfully.

"What, I don't get a goodbye?" asked Yuki sarcastically and quietly to just Tohru and I, obviously not really caring.

Tohru set me down on the ground gently and I couldn't help myself: "You're not worth a goodbye, you damn rat…"

"Well, neither are you, stupid cat, but Tohru gave you one before you left. Or have you forgotten?"

How could I forget? Idiot. She'd packed me a backpack full of food, water, necessary toiletries and a letter from her that I'd keep forever, regardless of anything that might or might not happen between us. It was a very nice thing of her to do. Especially for me...

_Dear Kyo-kun,_ the letter read. _I know that you have to leave, at least for a while, to find yourself again. It's necessary, I understand. But I wanted to remind you that you don't have to look hard to find yourself. You are not the monster you think yourself to be in your true form, or not even a cat. You are a kind, fragile soul like the rest of us, just with a little bit tougher exterior. Take care of yourself, and never forget the plum on your back. –Tohru. _

I recalled the exact words with ease: through all my walking in the forest, I'd sort of…memorized it…

"No, I didn't forget," I said disdainfully.

_Poof!_

It was a good thing she'd set me on the floor already. She turned away as I transformed back into a human. I grabbed the backpack that sat beside the counter and pulled out my clothes, changing quickly.

"Well…on that note," Tohru said cheerfully once I'd changed, "I think I'll leave you two to talk, okay? I'll be up in my room if anyone needs me…" She smiled once more. "It's nice to have you back, Kyo-kun." Then she went upstairs.

It was when she left me with Yuki that I remembered how much I used to truly resent her. Almost immediate dislike had sprung up to meet me upon my meeting her. I used to wear her like a ball and chain. I'd run and hide at the call of my name. It was obvious, she was too much for me. Oblivious, I was young and horny. I didn't want friends, or Tohru, or really even to beat Yuki. I just wanted somewhere I could feel okay for a while, away from the main house and the Sohmas that I could still manage to avoid.

"She left us in an awkward position, didn't she, cat?" Yuki asked me suddenly in his…slightly-creepy-calm-polite voice.

"Uh. Yeah," I said intelligently.

"When we see her later, we talked for hours. Got to catch up over the last four days. We're not fighting for now. Because we've had this little heart-to-heart. Right?"

Ah. He was proposing that we lie to her to make Tohru think that Yuki and I had really been talking all nicely and making friends. Immoral as it was…that was good with me. "Right. Nice chatting with you," I added sarcastically, taking my leave of the kitchen.

"Oh," Yuki stopped me. "I thought you might want these," he held out a thin stack of papers written in his handwriting. "Tohru's been saying some…stuff…about you to her friends. Thought you might want to see."

My eyebrows shot up on my forehead. Stuff? What kind of stuff? Good stuff? Bad stuff? Irk… I needed to get upstairs and read these… "Um. Thanks," I told the rat-boy stiffly.

"You're welcome," he said, as infuriatingly polite as ever.

I tromped upstairs as fast as I could, then, slinging down my backpack onto the floor, I jumped onto my bed and tore into the papers.

_I'm getting mixed signals…I just don't know what to think about him anymore…I get that he needs to get away, but I thought that he wanted to stay with the others and I…I just don't know, Hana-chan… Should I have tried to make him stay? What if he really does hate me and he just wanted to go away from me after he felt better? I'm sorry that I'm unloading this all on you, but he can just be so difficult to understand…_

Various parts of the notes stuck themselves in my head. I felt myself get slightly angry, but also…hurt? Worried? Sad? I didn't want her to be so confused about my intentions… I loved her and I really did, deep down, know that I had to tell her. But I didn't think she'd resort back to the stupid thought that I hated her… I deeply regretted how I'd treated her when she and I first came to live here. In retrospect, I wouldn't do it again. Tohru, stop talking shit to every one of your friends. Really… I'm not the same boy you knew back then…

I expanded my mind, knowing the new possibilities it possessed. 'Cause I could break down these walls I've built around myself. I wanna fall so in love with you, and no one else could ever mean half as much to me as you do now. I thought about the path we'd walked up to the house, my home, together, and remembered how symbolic it had felt to me. Together, we'd move on. _Just don't turn around,_ I begged again. _Let the walls break down…_

I imagined as hard as I could, those walls breaking down, and helping me to find my own happiness. I imagined every inch of emotional protectiveness that I'd put around me crumbling. I imagined Tohru's face, and I told myself to be happy. That I _would_ be happy. Because I had strength in myself, and after breaking down those walls I'd had up for so long, blocking everyone out, I could find enough courage to do this.

She said she'd be in her room, but when I went in, she wasn't there. I hopped out of the open window like some maniac and went outside, thinking she'd probably be in the garden. She was actually just leaving the garden, a basket of vegetables hooked over one arm. She was walking back towards the house, but I had to tell her out here. I was sure of it, now, that I had to tell her outside, on this wonderful day. It couldn't be inside, near that Yuki…

"Tohru!" I called out. I didn't bother with a suffix. She was close enough to my heart now, at least, that I didn't feel it would be right, and Tohru didn't seem to mind.

"Yes, Kyo-kun?" she called back, stopping to turn around.

"Tohru! There's…something I have to tell you," I muttered when I got close enough, finding myself now a little afraid. Remember the walls…they've broken down, you can open up now…

"What is it?" she smiled.

I took a breath. "I love you," I said simply. Her eyes widened, but her smile grew, just a little bit. I took her by the hands, leaned forward, and kissed her. It was beautiful, and happiness exploded inside of me. That would be the walls, I told myself. Falling down. I couldn't breathe, and every part of my body seemed to be shaking. She had a way with the way she took me… She broke me down… She broke me down, I realized.

I broke away from her, looked her in the eyes and explained to her my feelings as best I could. "Tohru, I'm gonna break down these walls I've built around myself. I wanna fall so in love with you, and no one else could ever mean half as much to me as you do now. Together, we'll move on, so don't turn around. Let the walls break down."

She smiled and took my hands again. "Let the walls break down," she agreed.


End file.
